Do you remember in the last post where I said that the half mattered in my age (I’m 29 and a half years old)…it’s because I intend on using the other half for a huge self-improvement campaign. For whatever reason, when the clock strikes midnight on a miletone birthday year, everything comes into sharper persepctive. Well, let’s be realistic, I’d like the next six months to be the foundation of a self-improvement campaign that I hope will end up being a life-long journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance (Do I sound cliche enough yet?).
The whole thing started rather unofficially when I decided to read the book You are a Bad Ass by Jen Sincero. It freaking blew my mind and sparked something in me that has been lying dormant for a long time. If you haven’t read it, you need to go out and find yourself a copy right now. Jen’s book was completely different from any other self-help book that I had read. She provides so many tools and ideas for you to use that I decided I needed a place to keep track of my progress and share how it’s going.
Her book inspired me to re-explore the shelves of books that I have lining my bookcases that I deemed not important enough to beat out other fiction-type books. Not anymore, along with trying to follow everything Jen has to say, I’ll be augmenting my journey with my own books (and sharing them with you!) and reading the resources that Jen provides at the back of her book.
So why do I think I need to do this? Why do I think that now is the perfect time to start this jouney? Well, let me tell you, but hold onto your seats folks because it’s a bumpy read:
- I am single and I’ve never really had any sort of long-term relationship.
- I have never had sex (the honest to goodness kind).
- I used to have a job that provided me with almost six-figures worth of income each year and I gave it up to start my own business. Now, I have less than $5000 to my name.
- Because of this rather dire financial situation I know live with my mother (which really isn’t doing anything for point number two, if you feel me).
- I have been working a year full-time at my business and it hasn’t taken off yet.
That brings me to the quote at the top of the post by Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I stumbled across this while reading Jen’s book and it resonated with me, made me want to read it over and over, and made me simultaneously incredulous that someone could say something so completely relevant to my life right now and at the same time make me wonder why I’ve been dishing out so much consent recently. I know that I only speak for myself, and I speak as a single (Canadian!) woman in her twenties, but I feel like I let myself feel inferior way too often.
Feeling inferior is uncomfortable, but it’s really easy. You just let your belief that other people probably have better ideas, or life-plans, or opportunites than you make you feel like you are less than or not equal to them. It’s so easy to let yourself get overshadowed by feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt. I feel like I fight this fight on a daily, if not hourly basis, whether I’m by myself or amongst a group of friends.
Especially, given that I am a single, 29 year old woman, with no serious prospects on the horizon (let’s be real) this quote screamed at me. I’m not sure about you, but I know that my experience as a 29 year old single woman has been fraught with daily reminders of my solitude, spinsterhood, and biological-clock ticking. Can anyone identify? How do you find self-worth when you are constantly reminded of everything you have not achieved, even if you’re the smartest, most successful, kick ass boss lady there is? Basically, how do you become content and at peace with what is, or demand the universe for more?
Hence, the self-improvement journey. If you want to join me I’d love to have some company. Maybe we’ll stumbe across some great books along the way, gain some new perspective, and learn something about ourselves. I know we will.